Humorous ATV jokes, pictures, stories, etc...

    You know You're in a Redneck Church if...
    a member of the church requests to be buried on his 4-wheel drive ATV because
 " It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of "
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And That's When The Fight Started

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion,
 and she kept staring at a drunken man 
 swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her,
 "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.
 I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,
 and I hear he hasn't been sober since. " "My God!" I said, 
"Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" 
 And then the fight started...
 
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    A few deer hunters would always ride thier four wheelers to the bar after 
thier evening hunt...One night a police officer was staking out the bar for 
these guys for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a deer hunter 
tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, then try his keys in five different 
four wheelers before he found his. He sat on his four wheeler fumbling around 
with his keys for several minutes. All the other deer hunters left the bar 
and rode off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police 
officer was waiting for him by the trail entrance behind the bar. He stopped 
the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The 
results showed a reading of 0.00. The puzzle officer demanded to know how that 
could be. The deer hunter replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

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    Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
    Company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home
    from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something
    wrong.
    Joe had to force himself t o open his eyes, and the first
    thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
    table. And,next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his
    clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the
    room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the
    rest of the house.
    He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
    back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the
    corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss
    mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I
    left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I
    love you, Darling! Love, Jillian'

    He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
    breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is
    also at the table, eating.



    Joe asks: Son... what happened last night?'

    Well, you came home after 3 A.M drunk and out of your
    mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the
    hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

    Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such
    perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the
    table waiting for me?'

    His son replies, 'Oh THAT!.. Mom dragged you to the
    bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
    'Leave me alone woman, I'm married!'

    Broken Coffee Table
    $239.99

    Hot Breakfast
    $4.20

    Two Aspirin
    $.38

    Saying the right thing, at the right time......priceless!! 

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